I had a conversation today with a friend about teaching children values. She was reluctant to go heavy on the values bit with her kids (who are 5 and 3), because she wants to wait until they are old enough to make their own decisions.
"Excuse me??!!" I couldn't believe my ears.
"Let me get that clear. You want to what?" I asked her again, just to be sure I heard right.
"Well, yeah," she explained kind of sheepishly. "I don't want to confuse them. I want them to be strong, independent. They're going to have make their own choices in life, so why should I confuse them? I'll wait until they're older, and then I'll be able to explain them everything logically."
If that isn't dumb, dumber, and dumbest, I don't know what is. What makes her think that by the time her kids get that old, they will suddenly be interested in what she has to say? Parents, if this sounds good to you, then you are making a HUGE MISTAKE.
If you want your children to learn how to make good decisions, you have to give them the stuff that good decisions are made of: information, and values. And, you have to realize that young children aren't really capable of making the kind of major decisions you're talking about. They see things black and white, and the kind of choices my friend is talking about are far from black and white. Furthermore, in this day and age, refusing to teach your children values is like taking them white-water rafting but refusing to teach them to swim.
They will DROWN. Because if you don't teach your kids something, then someone else WILL. Whether they pick it up from friends, television, books, or the internet, they will get it, and millions of dollars are being spent to ensure they DO get it. Then you'll find yourself with an 11 year old spouting such nonsense-or worse-that you practically melt on the spot like the Wicked Witch of the West.
Do yourself a favor. Decide on what you believe in, and share it daily with your children. Talk to them about it, sing with them about it, read to them about it. Your kids need to know who they are, and who you are is what you believe, whether you like it or not. Education plays a role, and so does what you experience, but you can rise or sink depending on what you believe - or don't believe - in.
